Guest Post Wednesday: You Can’t Find Love in a Cookie

Hi Guys! Happy Wednesday! As you know, I’m busy getting my work and learn on and so I’m going to get right on in to our second Guest Post Wednesday. This Wednesday, Melissa of MelissaNibbles has prepared a really special, important post. Melissa is an extremely intelligent, funny person – she also has amazing musical taste. :) Anywho, here she is…

You Can’t Find Love in a Cookie

The title of this post comes from the cover of an old Shape Magazine. The cover caught my eye this morning as I was getting ready for work and got me to thinking about my past with disordered eating and emotional eating. I'm so grateful and happy that I'm no longer in a place where I do that. Sure, I indulge now and then, but that's normal.

As a teen, I turned to food for comfort and love that I wasn't getting in other relationships in my life. I had friends, but was often very lonely. My parents weren't home very often (working) and when they were, they were too tired to spend any real, quality time with me. My father holed himself up in his bedroom and rarely came out to talk to me. My sister and I were never close because we simply don't have a lot in common. We both twirled baton and while I hated it, she loved it. I picked it up as a hobby as a way to get closer to her and because it seemed like it was what I was supposed to do. I never really enjoyed it and the fact that it didn't bring my sister and I closer only made me dislike it more. I excelled in school, but it didn't seem to matter to my parents for some reason. My good grades didn't seem to impress them as much as winning a twirling trophy did.

My weight was a constant problem with my mother and my baton coach. I had to wear skintight costumes and they were always reminding me that I didn't look good in them and needed to lose weight. All my friends were other twirlers and I was embarrassed to talk to them about my problems. Food was always there though. It tasted good and a bite of a cookie made all my problems go away. They say that nothing tastes as good as thin feels, but I disagree. After a long day at school, twirling practice and then being lectured about your weight by either your mother or baton coach, a bite of cake tastes better than anything.

There would be times when I would get control of my emotional eating and lose a few pounds. My mother would be so proud and my coach would notice too, but a few pounds never seemed to be enough. I felt like nothing I did was ever enough for anyone. Food was my solace. It didn't judge me and it felt so good to eat something forbidden. In college, I excelled in my studies and made a lot of new friends. Weight was never an issue. What a relief! I felt free from being judged and was surrounded by people that liked me just how I was.

Eventually I stopped turning to food for comfort and ate to fuel myself. I was ready to lose the last few pounds, but did it on my terms. I researched and found a diet plan I could live with and the weight melted off. I know quite a few people suffer from emotional eating, here are some tips that helped me gain control and confront the issues I was hiding from:

1. Find food-free ways to socialize. This was very helpful to me. I used to plan binges on days I knew I'd be going out with a friend for dinner. I would stuff myself with pizza and ice cream. It wasn't about spending time with my friend, it was about the food. That's just sad. Now when I spend time with friends, we get our nails done, go to the movies (bringing our own snacks), or go for a walk. It's about the friends now :)

2. Keep tempting foods out of the house. I know this can be a tough one, especially if you have kids, but it's worth making the effort. You can't binge on ice cream if it's not in your freezer. Plus, it'll make ordering dessert that much more of a treat when you're out if you aren't eating it at home all the time.

3. Find Ways To Cope. When you're emotional eating, you're not eating because you're hungry. You're eating because you're unable to cope with your feelings. In my case, I was lonely and had a terrible body image. Finding friends and enjoying life again saved me. As an adult, it's not always that easy to make new friends or find that sort of outlet. There are sites like meetup.com that have different meetups for people interested in all different hobbies. If you're reading this and live in MA, come to a healthy living meetup! If you really need someone to talk to, reach out to a family member you trust or look for a local support group. Sometimes all you need is someone to listen to your frustrations.

I hope some of you can use these tips to cope with emotional eating. It's a frustrating problem, but you can beat it!